Days # 2 and 3

So apparently I counted wrong or missed a day somewhere. LOL

# 3

I am so thankful for the small little blessings that come that let us know he is mindful of us. We have been pretty tight on our budget for the last few months. As we have been trying really hard to pay off our debt and put a little into savings. So when I have spent all of the food budget etc. we just have to deal with it.

Well I knew that we were going to have to buy more milk and eggs and a few other things before the next payday and I have been trying to figure out how I can work it. I have knew I probably had enough to go to the store today and get the few things that I needed to finish up the rolls for tomorrow. I have a friend who gets way more eggs on her WIC vouchers then she ever uses. So I decided to call her, just in case, before I headed to the store. She was excited that I would come take 3 dozen off of her hands. She then told me that she actually had 2 complete vouchers worth of stuff that she wanted me to use while they are out of town for the holiday and a wedding.

My jaw just about dropped to the floor. A direct blessing from above. I had faith that everything was going to be alright and we would be able to make ends meet because we have been trying so hard to live within our means, and he was listening.


#2

I am so thankful for my 2 beautiful girls. I always have known that my future children were going to be some of our fathers most choice spirits. Always known. I know that so many of the trials and experiences I have had in the past were preparing me to be their mother. I knew that I had to serve a mission in order to learn all that I needed to, to teach them the gospel.

Most of you know that I had to go to hell and back to bring both of them into this world. I remember sitting in my hospital room after I had come back with a blood clot with Princess E. She was about 2 weeks old, and I had hardly shed a tear at all. At that point I had been through so much. Many people were really worried about me because of how well I was dealing with everything. As if it all hadn't sunk in just how close my precious little girl and myself were to the edge of life.

I remember sitting in my bed pumping my milk. I was doing my best to get every little drop. Even something as seemingly simple as getting enough milk to feed my child was a challenge. I only ever got a few ounces each time. I finished and I turned to turn the pump off. My arm bumped the cup and it spilled everywhere. At that point I lost it. I began crying hysterically just as a nurse came in to check my blood pressure or something. I was feeling like the biggest failure in the whole world. The ONE thing that I could do for my baby, since I couldn't hold her, or even touch her really, or comfort her or be with her. The one thing I could do for her was to provide nourishment for her and what little bit I had was spilled all over the bed.

I sat there and looked up at the ceiling. I began an earnest prayer. Not cursing him for everything that I had gone through, but I remember crying "Alright father I am beginning to feel like Job here. I need some help. I am to my limit. If you have more in store for me, you are going to have you buoy me up. I can't do it anymore." And at exact moment, I felt his presence. It was just like the scriptures say, he wrapped his arms around me and comforted me. It was tangible.

When Princess M came and decided she didn't want to miss out on the NICU experience, and my body thought it needed to go through some new challenges. I felt many of the same or similar feelings.

As time has gone on and I have finally started to deal with all that happened to me, I can honestly say that I know why I had to go through the trials of their births. I know with everything I have, that I had to be tested beyond what I thought I could handle in order to qualify to be their mother.

I am SO grateful that I was chosen to be their mother. That I get to be the one to show them the way back to their father. That I get to receive their kisses and smiles.


I love you my Pretty Princesses!!!