Stressing Grapes

So I watched a movie on Netflix last night.  The movie itself was eh, kinda lame but it had a little scene near the end that had a really profound impact on me.  The movie was about a young couple who recently got married.  The girl is a marriage councilor and when she finds out her parents are getting a divorce after 30 years she feels like she has to fix it.  But in the process she forgets to nurture her own budding marriage and it starts to fall apart. 

Towards the end of the movie, after her parents are back together she is sitting with her dad wondering if she will get her marriage back to where it was before.  Her dad says to her, "You know Charlie (the hubby who is also a wine maker) once told me that to make the best wine that the growers often intentionally stress out the grapes.  They don't water them and make them last long hours in the hot sun.  The point is that only the best, strongest grapes survive.  The lesser, weaker ones fall to the wayside and what is left makes the sweetest, best tasting wine.   Marriages are just like those grapes."

That really got me thinking.  We are approaching our 10 year wedding anniversary this year and we have really been through some major "stressing" throughout those years.  And as we have gone through those fires we really are stronger and have a better marriage because of it.  It is work.  Hard work.  Often requiring much forgiveness from each other.  But the end (or I guess the middle) result is well worth it.  We are better together and have a greater love than ever before.

Thought of the Day

So I heard an awesome quote on the Radio today,

Don't ever be afraid to try new things.  Remember that the ark was built by ametures and the Titanic by professionals. 

Good Mom Day

Today has been a great day.  It started with the girls getting right up and doing their homework without any fuss.  (It may or may not have had anything to do with the fact that I told them we were going to go to the movies later. :) )  While I read my scriptures.  We then did a little Kinect adventures exercise together and then headed for the $ Theater.  We just learned we have one that is almost an hour away, still cheaper than the regular movie.  So we made the trek down there only to find out almost all the movies were sold out and the place was crazy busy.  So we settled on a less than stellar movie since we had come all the way.  We still had fun together.  I did hit a all time record though.  I not only took in our snacks, I packed sack lunches for each of us. LOL  It was a 12:05 showing so why not. I even took a whole salad for me. :)  But I couldn't bring myself to pull it out and eat it.  A little different than the pbj the girls were eating.

We came home and decided to do a little cooking together.  We gave both of the girls kids cookbooks for Christmas and they have been begging to make something.  So we shopped for the ingredients for the recipe's they wanted to try on Saturday and today got to work.  Princess M chose Ariel's fish (jello jigglers shaped like fish)  We made raspberry lemonade flavor and they were delish.  Princess E had 2 she wanted peanut butter cookies and cheeseburger casserole.  Both were great.  The casserole tasted more like baked spaghetti than a cheeseburger though.  I love cooking with the girls.  But as I was helping Princess E and teaching her all the terms for the baking process I realized how much work it is and even the simplest of tasks I take for granted that it is just something that I know and is second nature to me.  I am glad I am starting young to teach them.  I hope they will love it and make even better food than I do someday.

So yeah, it's been one of those days where you pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

No Cavities!

So on Friday the girls went to the dentist for the regularly scheduled cleanings and every time they do, we pray that they will be cavity free. When they were little, we took time to show them how to brush their teeth the right way, but we get used to simply sending them to the bathroom to brush in the morning and at night.

Our girls find flossing fun, but we don't do a good job of telling them to floss (which we seem to remember whenever the next dentist appointments looms on the calendar).

So I was at work on Friday when I received a call from Princess M in the afternoon telling me excitedly that, once again, they had no cavities. Queen M makes a point to reward them each time they do and I could hear Princess M's pride in her voice.

For me, I am happy that I don't have to pay the dentist (cleanings are covered under my company's benefits) but I also feel good that we have given them a solid foundation of personal hygeine.

I apologzie to the readers for the lack of pictures with this post and other recent posts...I need to show Queen M how to transfer pictures to the computer from her phone so she can become comfortable with the process.

Awesome Talk....Perfect for my Resolution this year

By Paul H. Dunn

1977 October General Conference

“We Have Been There All the Time”

 

Thank God for the youth of the Church! I don’t know where we could have a better object lesson than this delightful group behind me.

 

As I travel around the Church and see many of the challenges and as I have listened very carefully in this conference and in other meetings, I appreciate more fully the concern of our president to reach out to those who are lost or inactive. He made a very interesting point in an earlier service, a very interesting observation, and I would like to quote it. He said, “Prevention is far better than redemption.” Did you get the difference? Prevention is far better than redemption. Would you young adults, young married couples, young people everywhere, please take note?

 

While my daughters were growing up, during the many trips we took in our car, the most often-asked question was, “When will we get there, Dad?” And “How long will it take?” I couldn’t help but think that those questions are much like some that we adults ask. We think we will be happy when we arrive at a certain destination, our schooling is finished, we get a better job, we arrive at a certain income, the baby is born, our bills are paid, we recover from our illness, we own a new car, some disagreeable task is finished, we retire, or we are free from all responsibility.

 

My father used to teach us that life is a journey, not a camp, and he indicated that too many people are camping. I’d like to challenge all of us, particularly the young people and young couples that are married, to see life as a whole and to enjoy the marvelous journey.

 

I remember a grandmother who had been widowed early in her life and was moving out of her home. Her granddaughter, about to be married herself, was carefully helping her pack the boxes of dishes and the faded towels. “See that sewing machine over there in the corner?” the grandmother asked. “Your grandfather always left his hat there when he came home in the evening. I used to scold him all the time about it. ‘Just put your hat on the hook,’ I’d say. ‘Why does your hat always have to be on the sewing machine messing everything up?’ Then one day he got pneumonia and died, leaving four little children and me to miss him for a lifetime. How many times through the years I’ve thought, What I’d give to see that hat on the sewing machine, placed there by his own hand!”

 

Like the grandmother in this story, we too often let trifles cloud our vision. We get caught up in nonessentials or in a multitude of meetings, both in and out of the Church, that have no particular meaning or purpose. We sometimes nag the people we love the best over little inattentions, small faults, mere nothings in the whole scheme of things. Instead of treasuring the all-too-rare moments we share with our dear ones, we pick at faults, imagined or otherwise. How many of us say to our wives, our husbands, our children: “Why can’t you do this?” “Why don’t you do that?” Or “Someday when I have the time …”

 

Our last daughter left for college this past month, and the eighteen years of daily living with her were suddenly over. Where had they gone? What minute, what hour, what day or night had swallowed up all those joyous, giggling, growing-up years? The first night she was away, I slipped into her bedroom, looked at her record player, and thought of all those times I had mechanically said, “Would you turn down the music!” And I thought, too, how often in the days ahead we’d be longing to hear the music. Thank God she and her parents have many wonderful memories to savor in the years ahead.

 

Our daughter Janet lies in a hospital bed at this very moment, and she and we know what great moments we have to share. And you know, Janet, our great faith and our feeling.

 

Why do those sudden moments of clarity, when we realize how precious our loved ones are, come so rarely? How do we let ourselves get caught up in faultfinding, digging, or scolding at those who are nearest our hearts? Is it ever worth it? As C. S. Lewis once advised, “Take care. It is so easy to break eggs without making omelettes.” (Cited in Richard L. Evans, Richard Evans’ Quote Book, Salt Lake City: Publisher’s Press, 1971, p. 169.)

 

Maybe each of us needs to stop amidst our busy, dashing, breathless lives—even amidst our many meetings. It recalls to mind an experience—perhaps you know it—of a little inquisitive boy who came to church with his father, and as they walked into the foyer, the boy noticed the usual trophy case over which were placed several large plaques. Curiosity got to the little boy. He pulled on his dad’s coattail and said, “Dad, what’s that one?”

 

The father moved a little closer and read the inscription, patted his boy on the head, and said, “Son, that’s a plaque honoring those who died in the service.”

 

To which the little boy said, “Morning or evening?”

 

I appreciate that the Lord has instructed us that there are important meetings, but then there are other meetings which are not well planned or properly structured. Yes, even amidst our meetings and our commitments we need to really see: to see the way his eyes wrinkle when he laughs, see the tilt of her head as the light catches her hair, remember his dash of humor. Maybe when things get in the saddle and ride us, we need to step back for a moment of clarity. We need to remember why we are doing all of this—remember how much we love those we love.

 

A young mother was running late to a very important meeting one time. As she dashed from her bedroom, her little three-year-old stopped her and said, “Mommy. Mom.”

 

To which the mother replied, “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

 

“Mom, I need to tell you something.”

 

“Not now,” said the mother with an impatient wave of her hand.

 

“Mom,” began the little girl again.

 

“Oh, what is it?” said the mother.

 

“I just wanted to tell you I love you!”

 

Well, life is fleeting at best. We turn around and we’re young, turn around again and we’re old. Minutes rush past. We can’t stop them in all their rush. We’re eighteen; we’re twenty-eight; we’re forty-eight; we’re gray. Is there ever enough time to nag, scold, dig, or complain at the people we love most? We fool ourselves if we think there is. There’s only time to stop, as one has put it, to smell the flowers.

 

Do you remember Julia Ward Howe who told a senator on one occasion, “I am in need of help for a very special person”?

 

“Julia, I am so busy”, he said, “I can no longer concern myself with individuals.”

 

She replied, “That’s remarkable. Even God hasn’t reached that stage yet.” (See Richard Evans’ Quote Book, p. 165.)

 

Concern yourself first with individuals, with relationships, with loved ones. What else really matters? Don’t imagine yourself, regardless of who you are, busier than the Lord, who puts souls first above everything else.

 

The other night I was flying home from a distant conference. I had been away only three days, but as the flood lights of the airport loomed up, I welled up with anticipation and excitement. I felt as though I could have been a great hero returning from space—and what caused this excitement? I was going back to my family. Does it have to take flights away from home, a child leaving for college, or the death of a husband who will never again leave his hat in an awkward place to remind us how sweet are the moments with our loved ones and friends? How brief they are in the run of time? Does it take these things to stop us in our picking at trifling faults to realize the beauty of every minute together?

 

“When will we be there?” “How long will it take?” “How much longer, Dad, will it take?” are questions often asked by impatient children. “When will I arrive?”—a question asked by adults as they face the pressures of life. For all of us, let it not take a lifetime before we realize that we have been there all along, that life does not offer anything sweeter than the love of dear ones and the sharing of time together.

 

You remember what President Kimball said: “Prevention is far better than redemption.” God grant us the wisdom to know that life is a great journey, and may we have the sense to enjoy it. I bear witness to these truths in the holy name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Resolutions

I don't think I have ever written down my New Years Resolutions/goals.  Much less in a public forum.  But I have been thinking about it and I think if I do it will help me be a little bit more accountable and also help me remember them. :)

I have spent a lot of time thinking about how I would like to improve this year.  As a tradition, on Christmas Eve, we always act out the nativity and afterwards give a gift to the Savior.  The gift is something we want to do to be more like the Savior the coming year.  I wanted to have everyone write it down this year and place it in a special box.  But I forgot the box so I didn't worry about it.  But I still want to put mine down in writing.  This year I want to give the gift of being more forgiving of others.  Just like the Savior is with each of us.  This has been something I have been working on through most of 2011 and I want to continue in 2012.


I also began really trying to take care of my earthly tabernacle in the later part of 2011.  I joined an accountability group with sisters from our ward.  It more or less is like weight watchers where we meet once a week to weigh in and to talk about health and ways to help us meet our goals.  I was scared to join the group.  I had to be coaxed into going by a few friends.   My weight has ALWAYS been a trial for me.  I just didn't want to fail one more time in front of friends.  But I mustered up the courage and I am SO glad I did.  It has been the best thing.  King J and I both have been changing our lifestyle.  We want our spirits to be in control and not our physical bodies.  We have been changing our diet, and our family's diet to more of an 80/20 approach.  80% veggies/fruits/grains and 20% meats.  We aren't going totally vegetarian as we still eat a little meat, but it isn't the focus of our diet anymore.  It has been fun and exciting and tasty finding out how to cook this way.  We feel so much better and the scale is responding too.  So another goal for 2012 is to keep on learning and taking better care of the physical bodies we have been given, by eating well (following the Word of Wisdom better) and to keep exercising daily.

My last goal for 2012 is to be a more fun mom/wife.  It hit me last night as I was dancing in the kitchen while I was making dinner and princess E came into the kitchen and was looking at me like I had been possessed that I need to be silly more often.  I have always been more concerned about being responsible (which I am not planning on giving up) and how I appear to others that I forget to have fun and to live in the moment.

I know there will probably be other things that I decide to improve upon this year too.  But I feel like this is a good place to start/or keep improving.

So, what are some of  your goals for this year?

New Year, New Resolve

So for the few people who read our blog, I need to apologize.  I did not make it a priority to update regularly in 2011.  It also was a rough year with lots of trials and changes and the blog took a back seat.  But my favorite gift I received for Christmas was from King J.  He had our blog from 2007-09 bound into a book.  It is incredible and it made me sad that for the last few years it hasn't been high on the list.  One of my goals for this new year is to keep better track of our families lives.  I LOVED looking back and reading some of the little things the girls did.  I am so glad I recorded them.

So, with that being said, we had a great Christmas break.  We gave the girls some of their presents early.  I was able to work at the scholastic warehouse sale this year and was paid in books.  I cashed in almost $400 and got some great things.  We decided that since we were going up to King J's parents house again for Christmas that we would have them open most of the books before we headed up there so that we didn't have to haul them.  It was awesome.  We had them open one package each day until we left.  It was amazing watching them savor each item they opened instead of cast it aside for the next gift.  I liked it so much we might just do it again next year.

Like I mentioned we went up to Tenn. again for the Holidays.  All of King J's siblings were there.  It was a full house for the 10 days that we were there.  21 people total.  But minus the stomach bug and the head colds that were passed around.  It was good.  There wasn't any drama, or fights with the kids.  It was just a great visit.  We opted to stay in a tent down in the office for the week.  It actually was great to have our own little space to retreat to whenever we needed a little space and a quiet place to sleep.  It was a great visit, but it is good to be back home and doing the normal routine.  Whatever normal is. :)